Saturday, October 20, 2012

Fall From Grace

Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be brief. The issue here is not whether Lance broke a few rules, or took a few liberties with Sheryl Crow- he did.

But you can't hold a whole sport responsible for the behavior of a few juicing individuals. For if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole professional cycling system? And if the whole cycling system is guilty, then isn't this an indictment of our sporting institutions in general? I put it to you, reader- isn't this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to me, but I'm not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America.
[ Humming the Star-Spangled Banner]
 

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Thank you for your comments, you simpering fool. Now, await your destiny. Or have a cocktail, something fruity, maybe with one of those little umbrellas.