Friday, May 13, 2011

The Daily Grind

The title is  a coffee pun, sort of.

Coffee puns are way overused, mainly by coffee shops. What that means is that my threshold for a clever coffee shop name versus a stupid coffee shop name is pretty high.

I also have very little tolerance for pretentious douchbags. As an example, I like the actual Starbucks coffee and,  due to their ubiquitous nature and the fact that every single one of my GPS navigation devices can find one when queried, I will stop there on occasion. However, because the mystique they market tends to ooze pretentious douchbaggery, I will not call them my coffee shop of choice.

It's one of the many pragmatic compromises I make in my life. Much like hooking up with an annoying girl at last call, it's better to have coffee in the company of idiots than no coffee at all.

This was not that girl:


However, when given a choice, I tend to by my coffee from the Wake Zone in Apex, NC. It's a  single outlet, family owned shop that has good coffee and good staff. "Wake Zone" is one of those coffee shop name puns. They are located in Wake county, North Carolina. Combine that with the glorious stimulant properties of coffee, and you see the pun. But I don't think its a great pun, and typically it would not hit  my above mentioned tolerance threshold.

Back to my pragmatic compromise: Starbucks has no discernible pun in their name,  but they annoy me; Wake Zone has a marginal pun,  but I really like the shop and the coffee. So, in my personal growth category, I have shifted from buying my coffee based on store name to buying my coffee based on an ethereal quantity know as "Douchebag Quotient". Or maybe I just don't feel like struggling with the internal conflict. However, those of you who really get me will see the underlying conflict of "Situational Ethics": If I am near a Starbucks, and want a coffee, I'll stop there anyhow, douchebaggery be damned.

Others may wonder why not just buy it based on the quality of the coffee? Those others just don't get me.

To further muddy the waters, I rarely ride my bike to a coffee shop; because sitting around in bike bibs and a spandex shirt just doesn't relax me, and it generally makes people around me uncomfortable. Or, at least they look uncomfortable judging by the staring. Instead, I drive my fine German steel, a vehicle which some have called the epitome of yuppie douchebaggery.We have met the enemy and he is us.

In an unusual moment of candor, I need to point out that I generally don't actually drink coffee when at Wake Zone. I drink a skim latte. But I drink it in a very manly way, with 3 Equal packets. Um, err, not really selling the masculinity, am I?

Anyhow, I do drink regular coffee when at home, at work, when commuting on my bike or when buying it with Dunkin Donuts. I do like Dunkin Donuts, but my waistline  will chime in here and mention that I have never met a donut I did not like.

And the nice thing about an ongoing blog, is that I don't always have to wrap it up neatly at the end.

-Evil C.

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