Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Uncritical Trust Is My Nemesis

I like that title.

Not that it had anything to do with what I was planning about writing. I actually found it when looking up Nemesis in the dictionary. I didn't need the definition, I have a pretty good grasp of that. I needed to know the plural, as it is important that I keep several nemeses, in case one needs a sick day or vacation, or gets an anvil dropped on them, etc.

I was suspicious that it may be one of those words like cactus, where the plural is cacti.
Nemesis>>Nemesi. However that is not the case. Whew.

Stay with me. You'll feel a little pressure and it will all be over.

There is another blog I read by Somer Cooper.

The newsworthy part of this statement is that her blog has nothing to do with any of the subjects which are generally covered in the blogs I typically read. These subjects include:
  1. Bikes
  2. Guns
  3. Computer Games
  4. Cars
  5. Science Fiction
  6. Women in Lingerie
  7. Movies
Actually, as far as I can summarize ( Somerize?) her blog mainly deals with guilt and a dash of angst. Somer seems to be perpetually apologizing for something. Really not my cup of tea, as you may have guessed from some of my more sociopathic rants. But, as it turns out, I actually know and like Somer.

Somer is EXACTLY the kind of girl your mother would want you to marry: Caring, smart, friendly, pretty, mostly heterosexual. Maybe not technically wearing white to the wedding, but even my mom didn't really care about that.

This is exactly the kind of girl I did not date, back before Mrs. Evil would pull a Lorena Bobbitt on me for even looking. Not that I didn't make the effort. I made the effort with a fair number of very sane girls over the years. In general, we both sobered up and realized it was a mistake.

Through trial and error, I eventually found my niche. That niche did not include "sane". While sanity was specifically excluded, the niche did generally include several of the below risk factors:
  • Cute
  • Unbalanced
  • Drunk
  • Irish ( is that redundant?)
  • Drunk
  • Jewish
  • Smart
  • Obsessive
  • Kinky
  • Odd
  • Drunk
  • Sorority ( again, redundant?)
  • Angry

Yes, I mentioned drunk several times. It came up a lot.

I am running the risk of sounding like Charlie Brown's Teacher: "Wah wah woh wah wah", because you don't come to this blog to read about cool women who are trying to improve the world, unless you are assured of some ancillary defilement thereof. Thus your attention is drifting. Again, stick with me.

Well, there will be no defilement of Somer, at least in a physical sense. ( Unless I can talk her into one of several dares involving tequila. I'll post pics, I promise.)

However, she has foolishly invited me to guest blog on her site in the near future.

I could strive to be the perfect guest, minding my manners and waxing eloquently. I think not.

Picture, if you will, the worst house guest ever. I'm talking Alex, fresh back from the milk bar.

To extend the metaphor, her carpets and curtains, so meticulously matching in the past, will be in shambles. Her virtual fridge will be a desolate wasteland, and her binary bathroom a toxic cesspool. The digital liquor cabinet will be dry and her medicine chest will have been mercilessly rifled through. Her friends will call and beg her to throw me out, and linked blogs will see the value of their internet real estate plummet. Her blog, and by digital extension, her soul, will be damaged goods.

Of course, like so many women before her, she may sober up and reconsider.

Thats the kind of guest blogger I am, and the kind of faustian bargain she has made. So stay tuned.

-Evil C.

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