Thursday, October 21, 2010

Napalm in the Morning.

There is something you should know. I'm a slacker. Like my father before me and his before him. (Actually my father was a workaholic. However, apparently, the mailman was a slacker.)

Deal with it.

When I have something to say, I'll get around to saying it. When I have nothing to say, I may make something up.

It's been dull lately. I can't commute to the new Evil Labs on my bike anymore, as I spend most of my day at client offices, not in the main office, which is woefully lacking in showers anyhow.

Although I think I smell like roses after a long ride, I am told, by reliable sources ( Mrs. Evil), that I smell like Napalm in the Morning, but from the point of view of the Viet Cong.

I love the smell of napalm in the morning. sound clip

This means there is now way to shower or change clothes before work, except at home.

The upshot is that I can't commute on my bike, meaning I need to find other time to ride.

I have to get up at 5:30AM to get some time in the saddle. Now read the first line of this post again. I'll give you a few minutes to make the connection.

I'm a slacker = I frikin' hate getting up early in the morning.
I hate it even more when that means I am riding in pitch dark.
Gets to the point of loathing it now that it is starting to get cold.

Cold+Dark+Early=Angry Evil Cyclist.

To quote Dr. Evil ( no relation ) "When I get angry, Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset. And when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset, people die"

I don't have a better solution. I can't ride at lunch and I don't have time to ride after work, and I am NOT NOT NOT getting one of those trainers.

I could move closer to the equator. That would help with the dark and cold issue, but would make the commute difficult. Anyhow, rest assured I am putting my giant brain to work on it.


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Thank you for your comments, you simpering fool. Now, await your destiny. Or have a cocktail, something fruity, maybe with one of those little umbrellas.