Wednesday, July 29, 2009

The New Evil Ride

Last Weeks Miles: 115
Last Weeks Road Kill: 2

After my unsettling encounter with the Zombie Deer, I decided to keep track of the roadkill I see each week, in the interest of evil science. This number will only reflect larger creatures, with the cutoff being cats, raccoons, possums and larger. Squirrels,rabbits, snakes, turtles, frogs and smaller birds will not be counted. Large birds like vultures, etc will make the list. BTW, the Zombie Deer was gone by the afternoon. Taken to be the main course on some hillbilly Mayberry transplants dinner table? Spawning more Zombie Deer in the surrounding woods via its wretched infected bite? Only time will tell.

I am also going to post my weekly mileage. We can figure out a roadkill per mile statistic that may be useful to future generations, and those who eat roadkill. ( )

I mentioned a while back that I was buying a new frame as my road bike. My old frame developed a crack that even Mighty Putty could not repair, finally succumbing to the horrifying stress of carrying me and my swollen head around for thousands of miles. Many of you have been anxiously awaiting details and pictures. Well the bike is on the road and I have about a week on it. I will post pictures, details and impressions soon, I promise. You know my word is my bond....

However, for now, rest assured that my bike rocks, and is far superior to yours, and is not one of the latest pieces of overpriced trash. You just have to wait for the rest.

-Evil C.

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Thank you for your comments, you simpering fool. Now, await your destiny. Or have a cocktail, something fruity, maybe with one of those little umbrellas.