Friday, July 24, 2009

The Evil Cyclist

I don't know how you found me, but you did. Like a moth to a vaporizing high giga-watt plasma field, you came.

Clearly I have a security leak that must be eliminated. However, an Evil Cyclist, like an evil scientist ( note the change in capitalization, clearly indicating my superiority) must divulge his plans to any captives.

This site is about Evil, Cycling and Me. Simple enough that you can understand it, my little minion.

Minion? You don't remember agreeing to be my minion? Of course you did, nobody forced you to click on this site, so here you are, thus showing defacto desire to become my minion.

Read this:
I am Evil Cyclist's Minion, I swear devotion to him for all eternity.
I am Evil Cyclist's Minion, I swear devotion to him for all eternity.
I am Evil Cyclist's Minion, I swear devotion to him for all eternity.

There, it is now official. You are sworn to do my evil bidding. "But Evil Cyclist, I didn't read it out loud.." Sweet camel toes, is this kindergarten? Nobody reads out loud except in kindergarten. Stop sniveling and get on with your Evil Minion duties. There, I capitalized it. Does that make you feel better? Whiner.

What is your first duty as a Minion? Send me an (evil@evilcyclist.com ) telling me why you should be Head Minion, and what things you will do to all the Sub-Minions. I will post results as I see fit.

Also, I will change the hideous banner of the rising sun and the mountain biker as soon as get around to it. Mainly because it is just awful, but also because mountain bikers are pathetic. Okay, so are road bikers. I'm pretty sure unicyclists suck too. Can you say Misanthropy? I thought you could.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Thank you for your comments, you simpering fool. Now, await your destiny. Or have a cocktail, something fruity, maybe with one of those little umbrellas.